A member shared on the guardyoureyes.com SSA forum:
I am ב”ה happily married to a wonderful woman whom I love with my heart and soul. We have marital relations regularly, as mandated by the תורה הקדושה. My focus during those times are 85% on her and 15% on me.
I am frum, and I know that I will never have the kind of physical relationship I crave, that being with another male, just like there are many many other people who cannot see their cravings addressed for any variety of reasons.
Most people associate spousal intimacy with sexual fulfilment. I do not. Sexual fulfilment would come with a relationship with a male, and since Hashem does not want that, I will never achieve it.
Thank You, Hashem, Who gives me so much bounty, so much נחת from my family and so much happiness in life. Some would consider my situation a curse. They are, of course, wrong. No curse could ever come forth from You. Rather, my preference for males is a mixed blessing.
True, I will never experience what is essentially my fantasy. On the other hand, there is so much I gain from the homosexual tendencies You gave me. One, I am not affected at all by scantily dressed females who pervade the streets of my city. On the contrary, I find a woman’s body repulsive. Two, I am presented with a challenge that is entrusted to very few people: be in the company of those who attract you sexually and do not act on those attractions.
In summary: marital intimacy is 6/7 parts focusing on my wife and 1/7 parts focusing on me.
It CAN be done: my wife and I have a wonderful marriage, and it is wrong wrong wrong to automatically write off marriage just because you have SSA, although it is certain that there are those for whom this might not work.
Speak to a knowledgeable and understanding Rav for guidance.